Frequently Asked Questions and Answers– Instagram Edition
September 10, 2018
I recently posted on my Instagram story a photo, asking my viewers to direct message me questions they had regarding motherhood. I got some questions that I had never been asked before, and the other questions were ones I get asked often. I wanted to answer them all in one blog post for those who want their question answered and for others who are just curious. If, by the end of this post, you truly enjoyed it and want me to post more like these, then please reach out to me and let me know! I could turn these ‘Frequently Asked Questions and Answers’ into a series. So, without further ado, let us get to the questions!
“At what age did you have your first child and then your most recent?“
I got pregnant with Drew a little after turning twenty-one years old. I got pregnant with Jade when I was twenty-three years old.
“Where do your children get their physical features from?“
This is THE most frequently asked question I got/get. I have mixed race children. I am aware their physical features surprise everyone who sees them with me and or their father. My children are European, African American, and Latino. Their father is Italian, Ukrainian, and African American. I am Puerto Rican and Dominican. My fiancé’s mother has blonde hair and so do many members of her side of the family. Little Drew got his blonde hair from his grandmother. My daughter has blue eyes either from her great grandmother (Big Drew’s grandmother) or from my grandfather (my mother’s father).
“Does Drew speak Spanish?”
Little Drew is bilingual, yes. He is still learning to speak overall because he is only two and some change. However, he mostly speaks english. There are one or two words he will always say in Spanish. For example, he ALWAYS says “agua.” You can’t get that boy to say “water” to save his life. I’m hoping he will speak more Spanish words, and it is up to me to get him used to saying words in Spanish and not just english. For right now, I’m just super thankful that he understands anything you tell him in both languages.
“Are you on maternity leave or did you quit your job?”
I did not quit my job. I’m currently on maternity leave until beginning of October.
“Do you like having a boy and a girl?”
This was another frequent question I got on Instagram, but I get asked in-person by people too. I will say I wanted to be a boy mom, and when I found out I was having a girl, I had to warm up to the idea. Now, I am over the moon with the fact that I have both. The bond I have with my son is very different from the bond I experience with my daughter. I love them equally and wholeheartedly.
“Is Drew in daycare or attending a school during the day?”
No, we have never had Drew in daycare. He is not in school. He will attend pre-kindergarten in a public school, but I do not know yet if I should have him participate in another school first.
“Are you co-sleeping with Drew or Jade? I can’t get my toddler out of our bed yet!”
I read this question, and I instantly thought to write a blog all about my co-sleeping experience with Drew. It may help you and other parents. At the moment, Drew sleeps in his crib (we have not converted it yet) and Jade sleeps in a rock-and-play. We made sure not to co-sleep with Jade this time around. I can explain why in my upcoming co-sleeping post!
“Do you want more kids or are you happy with one of each?”
Ideally, I would like two more kids, but I would be happy with one more two years from now.
“Do you like pumping, and do you plan to breastfeed Jade for a long time?”
I don’t mind pumping. I want to write a blog post all about my pumping routine, but it keeps changing so when I find a routine that works for me and can remain consistent, I will write about it. It is time consuming so it can feel overwhelming sometimes, and I do plan to breastfeed Jade for at least a year.
“How is Jade? Is she an easy baby?”
Jade is well. She is much more manageable, but I’m learning no baby is “an easy baby.” My experiences with handling her have been the complete opposite from my experiences with Drew as a baby, but it does not make her less challenging. She brings her own challenges too, but I don’t feel overwhelmed— partially because I’m not a new mom.
“You’re such a good mom. Are you a SAHM?”
Thank you! No, I am on maternity leave and will eventually return to work. Every time I’m pregnant, I pray to just be a SAHM, but once the baby is with me, I realize I NEED to be in the working world too. I need a balance of both worlds not just one over the other.
“Your children are so beautiful. Will they be modeling for agencies?”
Thank you! I do not plan to have my kids model for any agency. I don’t want them in that industry at a young age. I do remember an agency reached out to me via Instagram when Drew was around one, but I politely said no.
“Has it been easy raising two kids or has it become harder?”
Oh, it is much easier raising two kids! I found it stressful with one, and I thought it would feel even more stressful with two, but I was wrong. With Drew, I was learning to be a mother for the very first time, and you learn from trial and error. I now know how to raise and care for a child so changing diapers, feeding, bathing, etc. is a piece of cake. The only challenge with two is managing my time effectively and having a routine remain consistent.
“You always post your kids in nap time. Do they really sleep?”
I genuinely LOL’ed at this question. If only you knew my son in real life. He LOVES his nap and bed time. We are still working on getting Jade to sync with Drew’s sleeping schedule, but thankfully, she sleeps around his nap time. For bed time, we put her down after Drew. Our hope is that we can sleep train her and it be at the same time as when Drew gets put down.
“What has been your biggest struggle as a mother?”
My biggest struggle as a mom is finding time to do things for myself. I often heard mothers say they do not feel like themselves. I empathize with those mothers because I only know how to be a mother. I don’t know how to be me anymore. I should be doing things for myself, but I feel like I can’t anymore. I’m exclusively breastfeeding on demand so that means I need to be available whenever my child cries. The simple things like taking showers or savoring my meals do not exist anymore. A shower has to be five minutes tops (I’m lucky if I get to wash my hair and not just wet it). If I need to eat, I have to make sure Big Drew is rocking her so I can eat but hearing her cry, knowing she only needs me, makes me feel so guilty. If I want to step out of the house, I can take her and have someone stay with Drew so I only have one child, but I have to utilize my time wisely. I can’t stop and smell the roses when I run errands. A baby asleep will only be asleep for so long and the last thing I want is a baby in a full blown cry while I’m in a long line waiting for my things to be rung up by an annoyed cashier. So, I stay inside the house most of the time. I can’t even tell you I’m working on making more time for myself because I’m not. I’m taking it day by day and enjoying the peace and quiet whenever I get it.
So there you have it! I managed to answer all fifteen questions that I got from Instagram. I hope you enjoyed this blog post. It is different from what I’m used to posting, but I enjoyed the questions that were asked. Thank you to those who messaged me and made this first edition possible. If you enjoyed this and wish to read another edition, please let me know in the comment section or direct message me on Instagram! If there is a question you want me to address, comment down below or send me a private message. Please stay tuned for more of my upcoming blog posts!